Family Crisis

This is just a brief update on “what’s been going on” lately. I’ve made some more additions to the previous post, so you can read in more detail over there.

But partly the reason why I always try to keep busy with SOMETHING, whether it’s a translation project, playing a game, starting a contest event, whatever… it’s usually to help me get my mind off of dealing with real life problems. I don’t want to ramble on in this post, because that’s what the other one is for (lol), so I’ll try to stay brief here.

  • Dad had triple bypass surgery on June 2.
  • It went well but he had a massive stroke. It occurred in the majority of his left hemisphere, which paralyzed his whole right side.
  • No swelling in his brain was detected until recently, by which time it occurred rapidly and he needed immediate surgery to open his skull to relieve the pressure.
  • This procedure was completed successfully and effectively relieved the pressure.

It’s really difficult getting news and updates from my family who is there…and there’s still even less that I can do from here. I would like to be there with them, but given my financial situation, I doubt I could go. Plus, my visa has expired and is currently in the process of being renewed, so I don’t know if they’d even let me out of the country or would let me back.

There are a lot of questions and uncertainty happening all at once, so I’d really appreciate your understanding through this time. I’ve been wanting to do something nice for Yoko Taro’s birthday this year but haven’t been able to organize anything well for it, so I’m sorry it’s pretty disorganized.

I will continue to post updates as they become known.


Update: June 12, 2016

  • Dad’s right side is still paralyzed from the stroke and he was starting to have difficulty clearing his throat. His lungs began filling with liquid that needed to be syphoned off.
  • He was given a temporary breathing tube, which he is not at all happy about. Today he began flailing his good left arm and leg and needed to be sedated.
  • They said the temporary breathing tube can remain in for up to 2 weeks upon which we need to make a decision whether or not to have him fitted with a permanent breathing tube and feeding tube. He will need to be admitted into a nursing home for the rest of his life if that option is taken…unless he makes any improvement in the meantime.
  • I doubt he would want that sort of life and we may be facing the option of letting him go if he can’t breathe without the breathing tube when it’s removed…

UPDATE: June 13, 2016

  • Things are not improving. Messages from my family made it seem like things were getting better, but that apparently is not the case.
  • I’ve lost track of when they inserted the breathing & feeding tube. From the update above, it doesn’t seem like it was just a day ago. I think it was longer than that.
  • Anyway, it seems as though he is in paid caused by the breathing tube, and they (my brother and sister) want the doctors to remove it and see if he’s able to breathe on his own whether he can or not.
  • I spoke with my school and told them the situation, and they are willing to help finance an emergency return home… but my visa is still being processed. When they spoke with a travel agency to book my flight home tomorrow, the agency was very concerned about my visa status, saying that it was unlikely that I would be able to re-enter Japan without a valid visa. This is *completely* against what my recruit agency told me.
  • They have lied to me before; especially the one American guy. He blatantly lied to my face at least 2 separate times, probably more like 3. So when they tell me that I can go and come back without a problem as long as it’s within the 2-month leeway period during the visa renewal, it will be okay. Please excuse me if I cannot trust their word with my career and continued life in Japan.
  • I spoke again with the principal of my school and she was very concerned about this…especially since she was just about to purchase my ticket home. I told her to please put this on hold while I “bother” my agency for real answers.
  • My visa is ready to be picked up. All that needs to be done is bring my passport and ID card to the Immigration office to complete the ritual.
  • I’ve done this myself multiple times over the course of 12 years living in Japan. This is the first time that my agency or company has their own private lawyer to deal with these matters.
  • Due to my father’s unstable condition, I need to go home ASAP, but my agency doesn’t seem to care. Apparently, the lawyer goes to the Immigration Office every Tuesday, and that’s it. I can give them my passport and ID to be renewed tomorrow, but I won’t get them back until Wednesday or Thursday.
  • So, now my mom suggested that I get some advice from the American Embassy. I’ve made an appointment to speak with someone there in the morning, and then I plan on sitting my ass down at my agency’s office until they get on the ball. I hope to get a redeye flight out Tuesday night, Wednesday by the latest.
  • I’m trying. I really am. I’m doing all that I know to do to get me home in time to say goodbye to my father. I told my sister to relay a message to him in the event that I don’t make it in time. I also told my mom the same.
  • My parents divorced when I was in high school, but their tension was crazy much, much before that. My parents had been divorced for maybe 15 years or more… but My mom said that she wrote a letter to my dad before his surgery, forgiving him for everything. She also said it again after his stroke and kissed his cheek. She just now told me this. It’s really hard not being emotional, but I am alone, in my room, and nobody can see me…so it’s okay, right?
  • For many years, I think I’ve been the logical-thinker, masking my emotions to help others be strong. I must protect them, even if I’m the smallest. I find expressing my feelings to be a very sloppy, messy event that I would much rather cover up and stuff away somewhere dark and safe. I have no one to talk to. I could talk with my brother and sister… my mom, my nieces and nephews… but I’ve been out of the country for 12+ years, only coming home once a year or less. I didn’t even get to see my dad the last time I went “home” in March (didn’t even go home; just hung out in GA/SC with my mom on vacation), which was the first time I had been back in 4 years.
  • So anyway, not like it matters given the circumstances, but… I won’t be covering the news from E3 because I will most likely (hopefully) be with my family. I don’t plan on bringing my computer. I will stay way from social media until I get back to Japan sometime next week.
  • I really appreciate your understanding regarding this turn of events. I have my own demons and things regarding my dad, but it all seems so insignificant now.
  • I know I have a mini-contest to wrap up, and I appologize for not getting the prelim emails out to those who won. I haven’t forgotten. I just don’t think I’ll be able to send out the prizes until after this family crisis is finally winding down… Please, please be patient with me.
  • I am scheduled to teach tomorrow, but my school said that it’s okay for me to work on getting my visa so I can briefly leave and still come back legally. *sigh* I’m starting to ramble… and repeat myself…
  • Thanks to everyone who’ve wished my family well…and my father a speedy recovery. I’m just really sorry to say that this doesn’t look likely at the moment, and I’m okay with that. I still have a lot of issues that need working out, but I’m more concerned with my brother and sister…and all of their kids. I’ve been away for so long; they had a much longer time to be with Dad in his later years than I did.
  • …Now that I think about it… I think the last time I saw him was in 2011 when I went on a solo road trip through Niagara Falls, down to Boston and on down to NYC… to wind my way down through PA and over to my Dad’s in OH. It was a nice visit, although I was only there for a day. I don’t even remember the time I saw him before that… Thanksgiving/Christmas one year with the siblings…? I can’t remember.
  • But again, I’m rambling. I can’t help it at this point. I couldn’t sleep last night; only slept maybe 30 min before working all day today. I’m super exhausted to the point where I’m not tired at all…

So, that’s the update for now. I’m sorry for the wall of text… it was probably more therapeutic for me to just ramble on than entertaining for you to read. I’m going to try and calm down with a little TV and try to sleep before getting up early tomorrow to go on the RAID FOR MY VISA!! Wish me luck!!

  • Alan Noacep Togente

    At this moment, all I can do is wish your father get well and for you better luck.
    Be strong Rekka! And hopeful. When things turn bad and it seems that you can’t do anything, it’s important to be positive, cause it’s the only thing that you can control.

  • Anon

    Wish your father well, I’ve been there too and it’s very stressful for your body & mind in that situation. Just stay in contact with a close family to keep you updated on things and lower your anxiety. The best medicine is still to go there and be with him though, it’s good for both your father and you.

  • Jaron Ayres

    Hey, Rekka. I just check the site once in awhile for NieR news but was troubled reading about this. Best wishes to you and the family getting through everything. I know it sucks.

    • Thanks a lot! I really appreciate it! I haven’t heard anything in a couple days, so I guess no news is good news…?

  • name

    best of luck to you guys